Emotionally based school avoidance (EBSA) is when a child or young person finds it very difficult to attend school due to emotional reasons, often linked to anxiety. EBSA can affect any child, but it’s especially common in those with special educational needs and disabilities (SEND), who may experience heightened anxiety or face additional barriers to attending school. Understanding EBSA in the context of SEND helps ensure that the support is tailored, inclusive, and aligned with statutory guidance.
It’s completely normal for children to feel worried or anxious from time to time. These feelings can even help keep them safe or focused in tricky situations. But when anxiety becomes too strong or lasts too long, it can start to get in the way of everyday life. For some children, this might mean struggling to go to school, even if they want to.
If your child has high levels of anxiety and does not want to attend school, they may be experiencing emotionally based school avoidance (EBSA).
It is very important to try to help children and young people overcome these difficulties as soon as possible. Absences mean that children miss out on learning and friendships, making it even more difficult when they come back.
The longer the problems remain unaddressed the more difficult it becomes to change the school avoiding behaviour.
These could include:
One of the most important ways you can support your child is to calmly listen to them and acknowledge that their fears are real to them. Remind them how important it is to attend school and reassure them that you and the school will work with them to make school a happier place for them. There are some suggestions below.
Tell the school there is a problem as soon as possible and work in partnership with the school to address the issue. A plan should be made with the school to help your child. Schools have access to an EBSA toolkit which will help with preventing the risk of EBSA developing or getting worse.
Any child currently avoiding school is likely to become anxious when they are asked to talk about their difficulties or returning to school.
A good place to start is to acknowledge that it may be difficult but that you would like to know what they think and feel. If they find it difficult to talk, you could ask them a specific question this might help them start to sort through their fears and feelings.
For example:
It is also important to focus on positives:
Sometimes children may find it hard to tell you face to face, perhaps you could ask them to write it down, email or text you.
Some children also find it easier to draw how they are feeling.
Remind your child that anxiety and stress are normal and at times helpful aspects of life. We all need to develop ways of coping with these feelings. Feeling anxious or a certain level of stress before something new or difficult has been shown in some situations to improve performance.
Towards the beginning of initiating a plan your child may show more unhappiness and you should prepare yourself for this. It is important that all adults, both at home and school, work together to agree a firm and consistent approach. Any concerns about the plan should not be shared with your child and a positive ‘united front’ is recommended.
It is likely that there may be difficulties implementing the plan and these should be anticipated, and solutions found. You should try to keep an optimistic approach, if your child fails to attend school on one day, start again the next day. It is also important to remember there is likely to be more difficulty after a school holiday, period of illness or after the weekend.
You may feel tempted to change schools, however research tells us that often difficulties will re-emerge in the new school and whenever possible it is normally better to try to resolve the issue in the current school.
Finally, as a parent it can be difficult to see your child unhappy. Make sure that you have someone to talk to too. This could be a friend, family member or an organisation such as those listed at the end of this.
Note: The actions listed above are based on guidance from the Bromley EBSA Toolkit, the SEND Code of Practice (2015), and national legislation including the Children and Families Act 2014, the Education Act 1996, and the Equality Act 2010. These documents outline the responsibilities of schools in supporting children and young people experiencing emotionally based school avoidance (EBSA). Schools are expected to follow these practices to meet their legal and statutory duties.
Access support and webinars for children, young people and families. Find out more at the Bromley Y website.
Bromley IASS (Information, Advice and Support Service) is a self-referring service which offers advice, information and support to parents or carers of children and young people with special educational needs and disabilities (SEND) from birth to 25 years old. You can contact Bromley IASS by email on iass@bromley.gov.uk.
The Bromley Parenting Hub pulls together information for all parents in the borough, whether together, separated or considering separation, who want to find ways to improve their relationship and get on better.
Bromley Mencap is an independent, self-funded charity working with disabled people, based in the London Borough of Bromley.
YoungMinds is a charity championing the wellbeing and mental health of young people. They publish a range of information for parents. They also have a parent helpline. Calls are free Monday to Friday from 9.30am to 4pm 0808 802 5544.
Anna Freud is a world leading mental health charity for children and families.